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Saturday, January 20, 2018

We Broke Up

At 1:08 AM my heart fell to the ground.

We broke up. Me and him decided we just need to break up. And honestly enough I knew it was going to happen. We were only a day away in spending our third month being together as a couple.

Its sad and honestly I wanted to cry my heart and soul out but I think a voice inside me kept saying you are way too good to cry over this. And at 3:04AM I still haven't shed a tear.

I will make a proper video that led up to the break up because I prefer talking about it rather than typing it because there might be some things I will filter out unlike in my videos I rarely filter myself to the point that I scare myself for being blunt.

I admit that the break up wasn't as bad as my previous ones but this one strike a string in my dainty heart because I sincerely loved him. I tried to be as understanding to him as I can but I have my limitations.

With our relationship, it was more of me taking care of him rather than a two way street.

I never had trust issues with him so don't think there was another girl involved. It was more of how he doesn't show how much he cares for me. There would be conversations were it was like he forced himself to check up on me rather than genuinely caring for me.

I sound so self-centered saying that but that is how I felt.

There were still a lot of things that made me question our relationship till now. He never really made an effort to be honest and I think that is one of the reasons why I got tired trying.

There were a lot of times we would have petty fights which will end up with me crying. He never really made a big gesture to make up for it which wasn't really a first for me. But the painful part was in one of our arguments, he said he will make a way to go to this event rather than spend time with me.

The hurt. A LOT.

And if ever he reads this, You are still in my heart but I think you were just meant to make me more mature in my future relationships. I never doubted you cheating on me and gave you all my trust. I just pray that in time you find that special girl you will change for her not because she wants you to change.

xx Alice

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